Youth Resource
Understanding "the quick fix"
There will always be stress - life is hard for everyone - stress shows up at different levels throughout a life-time. Stress is an emotional and physical response - it’s not a mistake.
SO - while we can choose to work to reduce overall stress over time, it pays to find ways of improving our capacity to handle stress in safe and healthy ways on a personal level. Since stress is always a companion, it is not surprising that people are always trying to figure out how to handle it. Due to the power and discomfort of stress, one way that people often attempt to deal with stress is THE QUICK FIX.
It is understandable that the quick fixes (drinking/using, cheating, lying, driving too fast, running away, self-harm...) are so appealing because it is an obvious powerful action in the moment. These actions offer us ways of saying: “CHANGE NOW” or “STOP”. Quick fixes can change the mindset and offer hope - similar to waving a magic wand. Quick fixes empower us in the moment to take a stand against pain. The thing is...many quick fixes are high risk and can further complicate our lives and importantly DO NOT solve the original problem(s). Since stress is a part of life once you remove one stressor (or temporarily mask it by using a quick fix technique), a new one will arise, and soon, the old one will likely rear its ugly head. Ultimately, it doesn’t help to fix problems with problems. Why?
Because: Problems + Problems = More Problems and that’s no good.
What can we do? We can learn to take really good care of ourselves and one another during stressful times. And why not give that a try - what harm has good care ever caused?
What is good care? Good care falls into 2 categories: Short term and long term.
Stressful moments are often brought on by external forces which then result in an emotional response storm. The outside world has messed with your plans, or your own lovely internal landscape. Stressful moments can also come from inside you - if you are thinking about something really upsetting or confusing or you have some big difficult emotion. Stress is also caused by physical pain or discomfort. No matter what the cause is, you want to do something that both helps in the moment (short-term), AND that also adds to your health in the future (long term).
Here are some things to work toward when in the middle of a stress-related emotional storm:
Slow down the pace
Reclaim your presence in your environment
Choose an action that resets your focus
Some actions that help shift the pace, feel the current moment are:
listen to music
walk outside
hang out with friends (who are nice to you!) (on-line counts!)
go on a hike
watch TV/movie
talk to someone who loves you
work out (run, walk, sit-ups)
talk to your pet or someone’s pet
relaxing breathing/meditation
take a bath
take a hot shower
drink hot chocolate or tea
sleep or simply rest
talk with a counselor (non-judgmental support)
run up and down stairs
yoga or stretch
chew gum
journal
read
draw/paint
flip through a magazine
play video games
other_______________________
All in all, life IS hard. The best we can do as people is to find ways to safely navigate our way through even the darkest times. We all go through darkness; there is nothing wrong with you. The better we get at caring for ourselves and knowing/avoiding the quick fixes (that further complicate things), the better we will be able to bravely walk through the struggles in life.
Feeling better in the long run takes time, effort and patience and comrades. There is no quick fix. WHY? Because your feelings are here for a reason and it can take time, effort and patience to really tend to those feelings and the reasons that you are having these important and difficult feelings in the first place. Making the time to talk, question and reflect can help you reduce stress, validate your feelings and create ways that work for you so that the hard times in your life are not destructive times.
The fact that you are reading this is one sign that you are finding new ways for yourself: by collaborating with someone (or reading their thoughts on a subject) you are building ties with other people and linking arms in a way.
Breathing exercise - you can do this anywhere, any time.
It’s simply a soothing reminder and an invitation:
Breathe in (say silently to self)
I am here
Breathe out (say silently to self)
I am calm